Tuesday, April 28, 2009
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2:03 PM
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ROFL!
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Monday, April 27, 2009
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10:46 PM
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since the beginning of this year i have been realizing something..
things are alot different now. i dont talk to or hang out with as many people as i used to. ive noticed that the friends i used to be close with in the past are beginning to drift away. but why? is it because ive grown up? because ive changed whats important to me? because ive become a different person?
in the past i was always into hanging out with a lot of people and making new friends all the time. i remember i used to talk to so many people. it was fun dont get me wrong but lately i feel like what was the use of all that? why did i feel like it was so important to meet and hang out with as many people as i can? all the people i used to talk to have just become annoying and not really worth my time... i really just dont care anymore....
also,i used to feel like it was important for everyone to like me. i always had to make a good impression when i met someone new. changed how i presented myself and became someone i thought that everyone would like and never show the real me. but now i realize that i dont really care what people think of me. im tired of what people have to say about me, of people that use me for something, and tired of always catering to them because i worry about how theyre feeling but never have any consideration for me. so ive gotten rid of all that.
nowadays ive been comfortable with just talking to close friends on a regular basis. but even then there are times when my close friends have done things that make me question our friendships.. even with my close friends ive felt scared to open up and put up a front because i dont want them to think im weak. but now i been slowly opening up and showing them how i really am the way they react to it will show me what kind of person they really are.
people used to say that ive changed so much lately. i used to take it as a bad thing.. but now i embrace it. yeah i changed.. but for the better. its part of growing up. getting rid of everything in the past and hanging on to positive people that can better myself..
things are alot different now. i dont talk to or hang out with as many people as i used to. ive noticed that the friends i used to be close with in the past are beginning to drift away. but why? is it because ive grown up? because ive changed whats important to me? because ive become a different person?
in the past i was always into hanging out with a lot of people and making new friends all the time. i remember i used to talk to so many people. it was fun dont get me wrong but lately i feel like what was the use of all that? why did i feel like it was so important to meet and hang out with as many people as i can? all the people i used to talk to have just become annoying and not really worth my time... i really just dont care anymore....
also,i used to feel like it was important for everyone to like me. i always had to make a good impression when i met someone new. changed how i presented myself and became someone i thought that everyone would like and never show the real me. but now i realize that i dont really care what people think of me. im tired of what people have to say about me, of people that use me for something, and tired of always catering to them because i worry about how theyre feeling but never have any consideration for me. so ive gotten rid of all that.
nowadays ive been comfortable with just talking to close friends on a regular basis. but even then there are times when my close friends have done things that make me question our friendships.. even with my close friends ive felt scared to open up and put up a front because i dont want them to think im weak. but now i been slowly opening up and showing them how i really am the way they react to it will show me what kind of person they really are.
people used to say that ive changed so much lately. i used to take it as a bad thing.. but now i embrace it. yeah i changed.. but for the better. its part of growing up. getting rid of everything in the past and hanging on to positive people that can better myself..
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Thursday, April 23, 2009
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6:32 PM
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dont be afraid to fail
fail big and stick around
make them wonder why your still smiling
fail big and stick around
make them wonder why your still smiling
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Monday, April 13, 2009
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7:17 PM
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Lately ive been thinking alot about how my life has been this past year and when i look back im kind of dissapointed..
ive been putting my life on pause.. i guess ever since i got out of school, but for what? what was i waiting for? i dont really know what it is but i feel like there is something missing in my life right now. sounds cliche right?
im so jealous of my old friends right now.. when i ask them how they been lately and they tell me how everythings been going amazing since we've graduated. i know i should be happy for them but sometimes i cant even sit and listen to it. heather just had a hella cute baby girl. im soo happy for her and her boyfriend. shannon is getting married by the end of this month. i cant even believe it but im excited for her im glad shes found someone to be with. pamela moved in with her boyfriend thats shes been with since our sophomore year..
and what about me? i guess i have no right to complain since i did this to myself. i was the one that stopped attending art institute and been putting off going back to school because i dont wanna be any more of a burden to my parents. ive been trying to look for a job but its just not as easy as everyone thinks.. no luck at all.
lately i been tryna get my life back on track. i hate it tho how people think im not even doing nothing with my life and talk down on me and shit.. makes me wanna fuck their face up .. iono they just dont know my situation right now so fuck them.
actually there still is one really good thing in my life...
ive been putting my life on pause.. i guess ever since i got out of school, but for what? what was i waiting for? i dont really know what it is but i feel like there is something missing in my life right now. sounds cliche right?
im so jealous of my old friends right now.. when i ask them how they been lately and they tell me how everythings been going amazing since we've graduated. i know i should be happy for them but sometimes i cant even sit and listen to it. heather just had a hella cute baby girl. im soo happy for her and her boyfriend. shannon is getting married by the end of this month. i cant even believe it but im excited for her im glad shes found someone to be with. pamela moved in with her boyfriend thats shes been with since our sophomore year..
and what about me? i guess i have no right to complain since i did this to myself. i was the one that stopped attending art institute and been putting off going back to school because i dont wanna be any more of a burden to my parents. ive been trying to look for a job but its just not as easy as everyone thinks.. no luck at all.
lately i been tryna get my life back on track. i hate it tho how people think im not even doing nothing with my life and talk down on me and shit.. makes me wanna fuck their face up .. iono they just dont know my situation right now so fuck them.
actually there still is one really good thing in my life...
lol thats a pic he wanted to show me of something he made... hes such a dork
hes moody, always giving me attitude, extremely indecisive, and one of the most difficult people to understand. u can say hes anything but perfect... but then again hes the one i think of all day. hes in everything i say. i cant sleep at night cause i juss think about how happy he makes me, and when i do sleep i have the sweetest dreams about him. so even tho hes anything but perfect.. he mustve done something right
ive known matt for 3 months and we been in this relationship for 1 month since yesterday. even tho we've had our ups and downs im still happy im with him.
honestly, knowing his history of relationships im surprised that we're still in this for this long and i have a feeling this is not even close to being it for us. he made me hella happy when he was like "you're the only guy that ive liked and stayed interested in for this long" haha.
last night i asked him "why me? of all the guys you've talked to why did u pick me?" he said "because u made me happy. u gave me that warm feeling that u can only get from being really happy.."
even tho so many people have been on my case about dropping him cause "i can do better" im not going to because theyre wrong. theres something bout him thats got me intrigued.
i feel like im really starting to fall for him... but it scares me...
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
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7:10 PM
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Don't settle for the one you wanna be with ,
Settle for the one you can't be without.
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Friday, February 20, 2009
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7:37 AM
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i like ur Supras daddy!!so my bro was hella talkin bout his stupid vans tellin me how much cooler they are than mines. HAHA not even. anyways i was like "i guess u can rock ur big duck feet. but i kno somethin wayy better than ur stupid Vans and sexier than them Dunks" haha he didnt believe me till i showed him a pair of Supra Skytops. hella feelin the Gold Skytops and the Silver ones and the crazy Aoki Strapped. MMMMM yummmy hahaha
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Monday, February 16, 2009
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3:31 AM
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"are u having me?"
haha what a dork tho. but its ok i love it haha :)
the thing is that im kind of scared about being official. all this time i been questioning him but ..am I really ready for this? this would be my first long distance relationship..idk we'll see...no matter what i'll make it work. cause i really think its worth it.
so anyways i was juss watching this show. and it got me thinking.
in the show the girl has a bf but she bumped into her first love. the thing with them is that even tho they arent together they know that they will always have a place in their heart for each other but since she has a current bf she dreads the day her ex will bring up the past.. and getting back together. ofcourse her current bf is jealous of him and he breaks up with her.
this got me thinking.. what would i do in that situation?
im such a jealous person that sometimes im jealous if my babe talks to his friends more than me haha, but the thing about that situation was that it was her first love. i think that if that situation ever came to me.. id let the person go but not because of hate but because how can u compete with a first love? thats the person that you will always be compared to and no matter that person will always have a place in their heart. so even tho they tell themselves that theyre over him/her once they start seeing each other all their past feelings will rush back. if i ever wanna be in love.. i want the person to give me their whole heart.. and not juss half of it.
haha what a dork tho. but its ok i love it haha :)
the thing is that im kind of scared about being official. all this time i been questioning him but ..am I really ready for this? this would be my first long distance relationship..idk we'll see...no matter what i'll make it work. cause i really think its worth it.
so anyways i was juss watching this show. and it got me thinking.
in the show the girl has a bf but she bumped into her first love. the thing with them is that even tho they arent together they know that they will always have a place in their heart for each other but since she has a current bf she dreads the day her ex will bring up the past.. and getting back together. ofcourse her current bf is jealous of him and he breaks up with her.
this got me thinking.. what would i do in that situation?
im such a jealous person that sometimes im jealous if my babe talks to his friends more than me haha, but the thing about that situation was that it was her first love. i think that if that situation ever came to me.. id let the person go but not because of hate but because how can u compete with a first love? thats the person that you will always be compared to and no matter that person will always have a place in their heart. so even tho they tell themselves that theyre over him/her once they start seeing each other all their past feelings will rush back. if i ever wanna be in love.. i want the person to give me their whole heart.. and not juss half of it.
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Saturday, February 14, 2009
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7:01 AM
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yea right..
lately everyones been telling me ive changed. why? idk
they say "ur attittude is different" "the way u talk is different" "ur mean now..."
ever since the new year i been tellin myself i need to change to become a stronger person but i didnt think it would translate to my attitude and how i talk to my friends. was i really changing that much that ive actually put up a wall to protect myself from getting hurt or being walked all over? is this the kind of change i was looking for? change that pushes everyone away..?
ive been told before that i tend to push the people that care about me away because of my selfishness. i didnt want to believe it before but now im starting to believe that the person was right.
maybe its juss me.. maybe i really am being selfish and overreacting about all this.. idk..
atleast theres one good thing... er i mean person in my life right now :)
when people ask me what i like about him i never know what to say cause theres so much about him that i like lol. his hella chill personality? his adorable laugh? his dorkyness? his random cuteness? lol
i hella havent felt this way about someone in a long time haha i juss wish distance wasnt interfering, things would be much easier. we've been talking for over a month already but it does feel like we're going out. i feel like im ready for that to happen but i feel like he isnt ready yet. its oky tho no rush i juss want to make sure its something he wants cause i really do want this to work out :)
come to think of it.. i guess it really is a happy valentines day <3
heres a poem relevant to Valentines Day lol
which happens to be one of my favorite poems
~
You’re the thought that starts each morning,
The conclusion to each day.
You are in all that I do,
And everything I say.
You’re the smile on my face,
The twinkle in my eye.
The warmth inside my heart,
The fullness in my life.
You’re the hand that’s laced in mine,
And the coat upon my back.
My friend, my love,
My shoulder to lean on.
You’re my silly, mature, caring,
Thoughtful, bright, and honest guy.
The one who holds me tightly,
When I need to cry.
You’re the dimple in my cheek,
The ever-constant tingle in my soul.
The voice that makes me weak,
The happiness of my life.
You are all I’ve wanted,
You are all I need.
You are all I’ve dreamed of,
You are all of this to me.
lately everyones been telling me ive changed. why? idk
they say "ur attittude is different" "the way u talk is different" "ur mean now..."
ever since the new year i been tellin myself i need to change to become a stronger person but i didnt think it would translate to my attitude and how i talk to my friends. was i really changing that much that ive actually put up a wall to protect myself from getting hurt or being walked all over? is this the kind of change i was looking for? change that pushes everyone away..?
ive been told before that i tend to push the people that care about me away because of my selfishness. i didnt want to believe it before but now im starting to believe that the person was right.
maybe its juss me.. maybe i really am being selfish and overreacting about all this.. idk..
atleast theres one good thing... er i mean person in my life right now :)
when people ask me what i like about him i never know what to say cause theres so much about him that i like lol. his hella chill personality? his adorable laugh? his dorkyness? his random cuteness? lol
i hella havent felt this way about someone in a long time haha i juss wish distance wasnt interfering, things would be much easier. we've been talking for over a month already but it does feel like we're going out. i feel like im ready for that to happen but i feel like he isnt ready yet. its oky tho no rush i juss want to make sure its something he wants cause i really do want this to work out :)
come to think of it.. i guess it really is a happy valentines day <3
heres a poem relevant to Valentines Day lol
which happens to be one of my favorite poems
~
You’re the thought that starts each morning,
The conclusion to each day.
You are in all that I do,
And everything I say.
You’re the smile on my face,
The twinkle in my eye.
The warmth inside my heart,
The fullness in my life.
You’re the hand that’s laced in mine,
And the coat upon my back.
My friend, my love,
My shoulder to lean on.
You’re my silly, mature, caring,
Thoughtful, bright, and honest guy.
The one who holds me tightly,
When I need to cry.
You’re the dimple in my cheek,
The ever-constant tingle in my soul.
The voice that makes me weak,
The happiness of my life.
You are all I’ve wanted,
You are all I need.
You are all I’ve dreamed of,
You are all of this to me.
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
