ive been putting my life on pause.. i guess ever since i got out of school, but for what? what was i waiting for? i dont really know what it is but i feel like there is something missing in my life right now. sounds cliche right?
im so jealous of my old friends right now.. when i ask them how they been lately and they tell me how everythings been going amazing since we've graduated. i know i should be happy for them but sometimes i cant even sit and listen to it. heather just had a hella cute baby girl. im soo happy for her and her boyfriend. shannon is getting married by the end of this month. i cant even believe it but im excited for her im glad shes found someone to be with. pamela moved in with her boyfriend thats shes been with since our sophomore year..
and what about me? i guess i have no right to complain since i did this to myself. i was the one that stopped attending art institute and been putting off going back to school because i dont wanna be any more of a burden to my parents. ive been trying to look for a job but its just not as easy as everyone thinks.. no luck at all.
lately i been tryna get my life back on track. i hate it tho how people think im not even doing nothing with my life and talk down on me and shit.. makes me wanna fuck their face up .. iono they just dont know my situation right now so fuck them.
actually there still is one really good thing in my life...
lol thats a pic he wanted to show me of something he made... hes such a dork
hes moody, always giving me attitude, extremely indecisive, and one of the most difficult people to understand. u can say hes anything but perfect... but then again hes the one i think of all day. hes in everything i say. i cant sleep at night cause i juss think about how happy he makes me, and when i do sleep i have the sweetest dreams about him. so even tho hes anything but perfect.. he mustve done something right
ive known matt for 3 months and we been in this relationship for 1 month since yesterday. even tho we've had our ups and downs im still happy im with him.
honestly, knowing his history of relationships im surprised that we're still in this for this long and i have a feeling this is not even close to being it for us. he made me hella happy when he was like "you're the only guy that ive liked and stayed interested in for this long" haha.
last night i asked him "why me? of all the guys you've talked to why did u pick me?" he said "because u made me happy. u gave me that warm feeling that u can only get from being really happy.."
even tho so many people have been on my case about dropping him cause "i can do better" im not going to because theyre wrong. theres something bout him thats got me intrigued.
i feel like im really starting to fall for him... but it scares me...
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