Tuesday, April 28, 2009
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2:03 PM
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ROFL!
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Monday, April 27, 2009
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10:46 PM
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since the beginning of this year i have been realizing something..
things are alot different now. i dont talk to or hang out with as many people as i used to. ive noticed that the friends i used to be close with in the past are beginning to drift away. but why? is it because ive grown up? because ive changed whats important to me? because ive become a different person?
in the past i was always into hanging out with a lot of people and making new friends all the time. i remember i used to talk to so many people. it was fun dont get me wrong but lately i feel like what was the use of all that? why did i feel like it was so important to meet and hang out with as many people as i can? all the people i used to talk to have just become annoying and not really worth my time... i really just dont care anymore....
also,i used to feel like it was important for everyone to like me. i always had to make a good impression when i met someone new. changed how i presented myself and became someone i thought that everyone would like and never show the real me. but now i realize that i dont really care what people think of me. im tired of what people have to say about me, of people that use me for something, and tired of always catering to them because i worry about how theyre feeling but never have any consideration for me. so ive gotten rid of all that.
nowadays ive been comfortable with just talking to close friends on a regular basis. but even then there are times when my close friends have done things that make me question our friendships.. even with my close friends ive felt scared to open up and put up a front because i dont want them to think im weak. but now i been slowly opening up and showing them how i really am the way they react to it will show me what kind of person they really are.
people used to say that ive changed so much lately. i used to take it as a bad thing.. but now i embrace it. yeah i changed.. but for the better. its part of growing up. getting rid of everything in the past and hanging on to positive people that can better myself..
things are alot different now. i dont talk to or hang out with as many people as i used to. ive noticed that the friends i used to be close with in the past are beginning to drift away. but why? is it because ive grown up? because ive changed whats important to me? because ive become a different person?
in the past i was always into hanging out with a lot of people and making new friends all the time. i remember i used to talk to so many people. it was fun dont get me wrong but lately i feel like what was the use of all that? why did i feel like it was so important to meet and hang out with as many people as i can? all the people i used to talk to have just become annoying and not really worth my time... i really just dont care anymore....
also,i used to feel like it was important for everyone to like me. i always had to make a good impression when i met someone new. changed how i presented myself and became someone i thought that everyone would like and never show the real me. but now i realize that i dont really care what people think of me. im tired of what people have to say about me, of people that use me for something, and tired of always catering to them because i worry about how theyre feeling but never have any consideration for me. so ive gotten rid of all that.
nowadays ive been comfortable with just talking to close friends on a regular basis. but even then there are times when my close friends have done things that make me question our friendships.. even with my close friends ive felt scared to open up and put up a front because i dont want them to think im weak. but now i been slowly opening up and showing them how i really am the way they react to it will show me what kind of person they really are.
people used to say that ive changed so much lately. i used to take it as a bad thing.. but now i embrace it. yeah i changed.. but for the better. its part of growing up. getting rid of everything in the past and hanging on to positive people that can better myself..
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Thursday, April 23, 2009
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6:32 PM
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dont be afraid to fail
fail big and stick around
make them wonder why your still smiling
fail big and stick around
make them wonder why your still smiling
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
Monday, April 13, 2009
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7:17 PM
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Lately ive been thinking alot about how my life has been this past year and when i look back im kind of dissapointed..
ive been putting my life on pause.. i guess ever since i got out of school, but for what? what was i waiting for? i dont really know what it is but i feel like there is something missing in my life right now. sounds cliche right?
im so jealous of my old friends right now.. when i ask them how they been lately and they tell me how everythings been going amazing since we've graduated. i know i should be happy for them but sometimes i cant even sit and listen to it. heather just had a hella cute baby girl. im soo happy for her and her boyfriend. shannon is getting married by the end of this month. i cant even believe it but im excited for her im glad shes found someone to be with. pamela moved in with her boyfriend thats shes been with since our sophomore year..
and what about me? i guess i have no right to complain since i did this to myself. i was the one that stopped attending art institute and been putting off going back to school because i dont wanna be any more of a burden to my parents. ive been trying to look for a job but its just not as easy as everyone thinks.. no luck at all.
lately i been tryna get my life back on track. i hate it tho how people think im not even doing nothing with my life and talk down on me and shit.. makes me wanna fuck their face up .. iono they just dont know my situation right now so fuck them.
actually there still is one really good thing in my life...
ive been putting my life on pause.. i guess ever since i got out of school, but for what? what was i waiting for? i dont really know what it is but i feel like there is something missing in my life right now. sounds cliche right?
im so jealous of my old friends right now.. when i ask them how they been lately and they tell me how everythings been going amazing since we've graduated. i know i should be happy for them but sometimes i cant even sit and listen to it. heather just had a hella cute baby girl. im soo happy for her and her boyfriend. shannon is getting married by the end of this month. i cant even believe it but im excited for her im glad shes found someone to be with. pamela moved in with her boyfriend thats shes been with since our sophomore year..
and what about me? i guess i have no right to complain since i did this to myself. i was the one that stopped attending art institute and been putting off going back to school because i dont wanna be any more of a burden to my parents. ive been trying to look for a job but its just not as easy as everyone thinks.. no luck at all.
lately i been tryna get my life back on track. i hate it tho how people think im not even doing nothing with my life and talk down on me and shit.. makes me wanna fuck their face up .. iono they just dont know my situation right now so fuck them.
actually there still is one really good thing in my life...
lol thats a pic he wanted to show me of something he made... hes such a dork
hes moody, always giving me attitude, extremely indecisive, and one of the most difficult people to understand. u can say hes anything but perfect... but then again hes the one i think of all day. hes in everything i say. i cant sleep at night cause i juss think about how happy he makes me, and when i do sleep i have the sweetest dreams about him. so even tho hes anything but perfect.. he mustve done something right
ive known matt for 3 months and we been in this relationship for 1 month since yesterday. even tho we've had our ups and downs im still happy im with him.
honestly, knowing his history of relationships im surprised that we're still in this for this long and i have a feeling this is not even close to being it for us. he made me hella happy when he was like "you're the only guy that ive liked and stayed interested in for this long" haha.
last night i asked him "why me? of all the guys you've talked to why did u pick me?" he said "because u made me happy. u gave me that warm feeling that u can only get from being really happy.."
even tho so many people have been on my case about dropping him cause "i can do better" im not going to because theyre wrong. theres something bout him thats got me intrigued.
i feel like im really starting to fall for him... but it scares me...
Posted by
xxpatrickjasonxx
